Born in 1546 during an assault by the Spanish Armada, Alasdair survived in a small ruck-sack placed strategically under his stove. He emigrated from England to the isle of pygmy in 1630 and found solitude and a potion for eternal youth. In 1745, during the Pygmy riots of tiny town, he boarded a ship made of cardboard and sailed for the promised land. The ship sank, but Alasdair survived: a group of rogue mermaids helped him to shore and told him stories of the past life and the big blue yonder. Armed with the knowledge of the mermaids and eternal youth Alasdair swam to America in 1878 and made landfall off the coast of California. Enticed by the promise of gold, he set his sights on becoming a prospector for the Willy B Rich corporation. He struck a vein in 1897 and his fortune was amassed. Dismayed by the rampant consumerism of the American 1890's he travelled to the Arctic and cryogenically froze himself in an ice sheet. Global warming thawed him out, and he has returned.
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